It all seems like a lot of effort to those on the outside, but the relationships that are forged with the approval of the families has been shown to be far stronger than those that are in direct defiance of the family’s wishes.
While these Jews do tend to marry quite young as compared to the national average, the marriages seem to be much more stable than those of their contemporary counterparts.
Bukharian dating is arranged with the approval of the families to avoid any appearance of improper behavior on the part of either one in the couple.
The male reputation is as important as the female’s to a prospective bride’s family so he must behave accordingly as well as her.
For a 25 year old young woman to be considered an ‘over-the-hill’ spinster defies any sense of reality. The question what is the real cause and how can we fix it? So although there are approximately the same number of boys born as girls, there is a 4 or five year accumulation of girls aged 18 to 23 that outnumber the boys by a factor of 4 or 5 . Once they reach the age of 25, they may as well give up! I never quite understood this since there are an equal number of boys born as there are girls. The ratio of boys to girls is one boy for one girl. Nonetheless, this is what they claim to be the problem.
R’ Shlomo has bought into the notion that the fault lies in what is referred to as the ‘age gap’. On the other hand one explanation for this imbalance is that there are a lot fewer young men that are ‘good learners’ than there are ‘good girls’ who want seek only them for marriage.
It is to this date that the Bukharan Jews themselves trace their heritage.
This number was most likely added to following the Diaspora as records show communities of Jews traveled and joined or created settlements as far east as China.
Many of the Jews lived in either the city of Bukhara or Samarkhand.
We raised our children in a home that observed all the major Jewish holidays.
I made our children aware of their culture and heritage.